Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Santa is coming and so are the ear infections

Well we are in the month twelve and the kids are just glowing with anticipation of Santa's arrival. Nice to see the joy that comes with this time of year.

On the other hand my kids who are so excited to see what Santa brings have received the inevitable winter gift of sickness. Sickness that include cold, cough, congestion,runny nose and the worst of all when it comes to my daughter the EAR INFECTION.

I was hoping that they would be too excited and hyped up to get sick, wishful thinking I know but its terrible everyone has somewhere to be or something to do and to have to put up with this stuff and not be able to plan anything because they are sick makes a stressful time of year all that much more stressful. Rather than go out get gifts and go for those Christmas drinks with friends you wont be able to see over the holidays you are stuck with doctors offices and administering medications.

Oh Santa please bring me the gift of healthy kids this holiday season because they want everything under the sun and I can't get any of it if they are under the weather.
I'm already dealing with the cold and chest stuff but now she has got the ear infection its a tough one to get over and the pain she has breaks this cold heart to pieces so in order to get the spirit of the holidays flowing through me the sick winter stuff must end.

Santa bring those toys for the boys and girls and grant those wishes to all but when you get to my house drink the milk eat the cookies but don't touch anything else.Who knows how many runny noses and coughs and sneezes have infected the place Oh and P.S please feel free to leave as much cash as you see fit the more the better it just may be enough to pay for all the darn presciptions we have filled this month.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

If I could do just one thing it would be

As another day is over and I'm sitting back thinking and out of the blue started thinking about what would I do If I had the oppertunity to do just 1 thing, anything from impossable to miracle what 1 thing would I do?

WOW thats a tough one, well not realy I can come up with a million things such as win a lottery, go shy diving, go to the playboy mansion (well hey I am only human after all), visit some exotic place, chill out with movie stars, or hey GO TO DISNEYLAND.
I think that the ultimate for me would be to go on a fishing trip with DON CHERRY AND THE ALMIGHTY GOD THEY CALL MR ORR.I would be so greatfull to meet Orr the greatest player to ever live! you can argue all you want about gretzky or who ever I dont care Im not argueing because your wrong ORR was and will always be the best defenceman period.With those records and had his career cut short thats a true hero of the game.

Then after the dumb stuper of the vision of what I would do I come to the reality that I would never ever wish for that.You see my son is sick, Well he is ok but has a disease and I quickly realize that my 1 thing that I would do is cure him and all others of the disease NEUROFIBROMATOSIS THIS WISH OR CHOICE WOULD BE THE ONE RIGHT THING i EVER DID OTHER THAN HAVING PART IN MAKING MY TWO CHILDREN.
I would do anything to meet Orr and talk to him about his records but I would not die for that opertunity I would however kill myself to save my children and sometimes a stupid little question puts your whole life into proper perspective.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Does A Big Brand Need You

I have not been bogging much lately and have been getting a little bored of the same old topics so I found Chris Brogans blog at chrisbrogan.com 100 Blog topics I hope you write and picked this one so without further pain here goes.

Often we go out to a store and pick up some brand name product you know the one I'm talking about the big brands like Coke, Pepsi, Guess, Calvin Klein, Mars bars etc. etc. the list goes on and on. When we do pick these items up do we even think about the non brand name product the no name as we call it. Does the thought ever even enter your mind as to whether or not these companies even care one bit as to if we pick them or not do they need you buying the product or service. Well I'm not an expert but having worked as a sales rep I can assure you that yes and I mean yes they most certainly do need you.
Why me? you say well everything starts with one, you make your first dollar when you make your first product, your first product needs to be sold to your first customer,your first customer likes the product tells another about it and not only do you get a repeat customer but now you got a referral customer too. Repeat this oh I don't know lets say 100,000 times and guess what your the talk of the industry.
Not convinced yet well then explain why these companies spend billions on advertising every year. What you think everyone forgot who coke is or Pepsi that they need to sponsor every event that happens spend millions on a Superbowl commercial so they are shown to millions of viewers. Do they honestly need to do that? probably not.
They do need you and they need to keep showing you how great they are due to the small guy the possible next big thing. Just because a company is small doesn't mean it cant cut into your profits and fast. They only have to come up with a cheaper version of the brand name, do some serious marketing some fancy packaging a cool name and a catchy slogan and boom in your face big guy. Look at whats happening in the auto industry the cheaper imports are selling like hot cakes offering more options better quality in most cases, while the big names are on the verge of collapse they need you now more than ever Don't they?

If you are big you want to stay big the companies that don't spend on giving the customer what they want don't last too long even if they have been around for 100 years. Times change and so do products new ingredients materials and on and on if I can make a jean or a soft drink or a fast food restaurant that offers great style or taste and appeals to a wide range of shoppers and offer it at 10-20% less than the competition you think I will cut into anyone's pockets. Now if the big guys don't care I can only get bigger and bigger, while their profits get smaller and smaller but that's not likely to ever happen is it. Not a chance the second the big companies notice you on the radar they will do everything to squash you more advertising new product lines lower price they make it real hard to stay in the game for long.
Still think you don't matter to the big name? They only got big because they wanted to they know the only way to get big is YOU. If You don't buy they don't profit. I said before how I was a sales rep what do you think I wanted some other guy or gal selling my customer a product no way in hell. I would offer it at a less price try to get them the next model up for the same price anything not to have my client walk away to the competition.That client represents you the sales rep is the big names. Now they know that sooner or later the competition is going to win you over but with more marketing better price you will be back.

It sometimes may seem like hey we are the only game in town so ha ha screw you but not so. The people doing that don't care its a job but get a blog or a news reporter on your side talking about how poorly they treat clients and watch how fast things change when the CEO get wind his main goal to make business grow and keep the name of the company and its reputation clean

So in closing your decision to buy or not to buy a product means the world to a company Big or small so choose what suits you best and remember that they will try to persuade you but you buy what you like and what is best for you situation period.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ontario Government Going Stupid AGAIN!!!

Well I'm back writing again because this topic gets to me.
I am not the most educated person but I do know some things and I know that this stinks.

Yes I know that smoking is bad and yes health problems are caused by this habit, but smoking is a matter of choice yes you can legislate laws against smoking in certain places, stop certain people from purchasing smokes Just like liquor, but suing the companies that make cigarettes is absurd.

How can you justify selling these companies a permit to make, package, distribute and sell, then tax these companies for doing business in your province for what like 50 years and now after all the medical bills from lung cancer treatments and other problems associated with smoking your going to say hey its your fault this is happening so now pony up.Well first you must ban smoking totally make it illegal,to sell make and distribute them, Oh Ya that's what you did that's right you raised the price of smokes so high that no one can afford them ( by taxing the hell out of them) then started your anti smoking campaigns to ban smoking from all public places, but yet people still smoke just not every one is buying them from stores were now the government is realizing but wont admit SHIT WE MADE A MISTAKE taxing the shit out of smokes now we aren't generating the revenue from cigarettes to sustain our health care.

Now I ask dear sir or madam in office who's brilliant plan this was why stop at the cigarette companies why not sue the alcohol companies that's where the real money is how many livers are lost every year due to alcohol how many lives are lost due to impaired driving caused by alcohol, and yes how many emergency bills are racked up each night due to a drunken bar fight.total it all up and I bet that booze medical bills far out number the expense of tobacco or at least equal it.So why tobacco?

Well you see in Ontario the government has total control over all alcohol sales importing exporting and licencing of establishments, which in terms means that they have a monopoly on all booze in the country with the exception of home brew and wine made in the province. Well what does that tell you let me spell it out if they sue the booze companies they shoot themselves in foot no more money from all the booze no profits so what people die every hour from alcohol we make way more on selling booze but smokes not so much so lets go after them.

Hey I'm not saying smoke or don't I'm saying smokes don't kill people if people don't buy them but people do and when they started selling them as a legal business which government allowed for many years and now all of the sudden we are suing doesn't make sense to me. Who wants to do business in Ontario Canada We will let you sell that butter but if people start to get obese and need treatment were gonna sue you.

Ya I was going to start a chain of hardware stores but got scared because if people start to cut off their fingers with the saws we sell or lord forbid fall off one of those 12 foot ladders we sell the government might sue us 20 or 30 years down the road for their medical expenses.

In closing I would say if you were to say the companies lied to us said tobacco was safe or we stated that if thirty people were to die from smoking cigarettes we were going to shut the companies down then fine but to sue after thirty years and in the last 15-20 years every smoker and their mother knew what the consequences were but YOU (the government ) still allowed them to operate then it is you who should be sued not the tobacco companies you failed to protect the health and welfare of all your tax paying citizens You Betrayed us the least you could do is front the bill and shut up about it. Stop blaming others for the mistakes you made and continue to make.

That's my view you can take it or leave it all I ask is that YOU KEEP ON READING IT thanks for your time hope you enjoyed it.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

All grown up at 3 years old.

My little angel she is a handful to say the least.Testing you patience is the skill of choice,and utilizing those skills at the tender age of three is astonishing.It makes you think three years old and telling me no I can do it,when you know in your mind, heart, and soul it not possible.

Is it even possible that at the age of three independence is already an issue can it be that she has a seven year old brother who climbs up and jumps and is able to operate gadgets all on his own with little to no help at all,that gets those little wheels turning. I'm not sure all I am sure about is that whether it be stubbornness, or just plain wanting all the attention she makes her presence known.

The reason I say 3 and all grown up is that for a three year old what an extensive vocabulary she has, also as I said before independence wants to be in controll of the situation, and usually is.Cunning and Witty is this child utilizing deception to get what she wants and boy do I have a good story to share with you If you think children are not able to out think an adult boy are you going to be shocked here goes.

We live in Canada and we have a league called CFL football wich I like to watch. Well last night I was watching this game and my little angel would not go to sleep getting into things she shouldn't,and on and on, so I said come here and lay down on your Dora the explorer couch and I will put on kids shows for you. She was saying daddy is that football ? Yes Babby I said but I will put on cartoons for you she agreed and laid down for 10 min or so then she started rolling arguing, and then I did it I said the magic words she was waiting for like an opportunistic broker on wall street I said If you dont stop I'm going to put on the football game. Her response Ok daddy I like football so I put it on the game was good next thing you know shes over there playing and getting into things shes not supposed to and it took my wife to make me realize she did it to me again and she is so smart and witty and I was dumb founded how is that conned by a three year old and not the classic puppy dog conn I'm talking premeditated all out no holds barred got you with you pants down while you were not looking kind of conn now that skill and thats not normal for a child three years of age that is a grown up in a little girls body.

Man I wonder where she got it from If it was me boy oh boy do I feel sorry for my mom. Well I guess its just life the next generation keeps out doing the last but it just makes me wonder if she is already all grown up at three years old how many times will I have to pretend to clean a shotgun in front of every boy she brings home when she is sixteen? Hey she is too smart for me at three I wont need to protect her at sixteen she will have already thought her way out of any situation before it happens leaving me to wonder if she will even need her daddy at all when she grows up. Oh of course she will even if it is just a fathers love she will need me and I will be there waiting with open arms. You may be all grown up at three but you will always be my little girl, My baby

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Neurofibromatosis a fathers emotional roller coster

The day before my daughters first birthday we (my wife and I) were called into the pediatricians office after an MRI. I wish that there was an easy way to tell you this but the conclusion of the MRI Is your son has NF1 Neurofibromatosis type 1 with a 9mm lesion at the back of his brain near base of his scull, and numerous fibroid said the pediatrician. Neuro what I said but I could not breath heart was pounding although I wasn't sure about the disease yet I did know that a lesion was a bad thing to have in the brain.

Now as time went on some research and talking to Doctors, Neurofibromatosis is refer to as NF there are two types NF1 and NF2. NF1 is a disease that can cause enlargement and deformation of bones and curvatures of the spine can happen. this disease can affect nerves everywhere in the body and can at times develop tumors in the brain, on cranial nerves or on the spinal cord. NF1 is also called Von Recklinghausen.

type 2 has loss of hearing from tumors on the hearing nerve skin disorders and abnormalities, Brain tumors, and spinal.
There is a 3rd type of this disease called Shwannomatosis its little known but seems to have a small combo of both types of NF

Now imagine being that father being told this I wanted to die it ripped the heart and soul out of me but I had to and still try to remain the tough guy, my wife was a mess and to be frank she still is. Because people with this disease are more pronned to neurological disorders we found out that he ended up with hydrocephalus which took 3 brain surgeries to get it under control in 1 year. Aside from this there is the fact that they have a 50/50 Chance that's 1out of every2 chance of passing on the gene and not sure how true it is because no-one will give me a straight answer but I heard that if he marries a girl with the disease and has a child there is a very high risk of birth defects and down syndrome etc.etc. How am I as a father going to look my son straight faced in the eye and tell him this its eating me alive. I'm hard on him because I don't want him to use it as a crutch in life but at the same time I feel like a dirt bag he has every right to use it as a crutch. I hope that no- one ever has to go through this ever the constant worries of possible seizure's will a tumour grow is his body going to get all bumpy will anyone Love him if he does I WILL.
You know when things like this happen you blame your self and being that its primarily genetic you really blame yourself they wont test us because we are not having more kids. Through the whole ordeal we have never lied to him and he goes to MRI after MRI and blood test after blood test and specialist to specialist and he is the bravest kid Ive ever known he must be like his mom because I'm a wimp. At time he asks questions like why do I have spots on me? am I normal? and again I say again its killing me slowly from the inside out. How? Why? I once got so emotional like right now, that I said to Him Nick Please remember one thing if ever you want to hate or blame someone for this don't blame your Mom its not her fault she loves you Blame me I love you with all my heart but blame me. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS 6 NOW 7 YEAR OLD SAID TO ME DAD ITS NOT YOU FAULT ITS NO_ONES FAULT GOD MADE ME SPECIAL. If I'm Lying I'm dying, AND how true that is you truly are a special gift from god to us and anyone who has had the honour to meet you always say the same thing You May Have NF1 But NF1 has got nothing on you baby boy.

In ending this blog I strongly urge you to please sign the petition I did not go in to great detail about the disease but look it up google it look at some pictures join the facebook group Neurofibromatosis and read what some of the people affected with this disease are going through and don't sign it just for me or because you feel you have to.Do it because like me either you never ever heard of this disease and awareness needs to be brought to this or maybe just because its a good cause. I thank you Nicholas thanks you and everyone affected with this condition thanks you

Monday, July 27, 2009

Micheal Jackson 101 truly admirable attributes and achivements

Though many people looked at all the controversy surrounding Micheal Jackson's life and by doing so have lost touch with the pure, true person this man really was. Granted allot of strange accusations were made and some rotten interviews making a man look like a freak,but through it all the person who gave everything and never asked for nothing, accomplished some real amazing things and gave more than anyone I have ever read about heard about or ever seen. I'm not just talking about monetarily but artistically creatively pioneering the way for all musicians of all race but especially minorities. I have researched the best I could about accomplishments and great deeds this man did and in doing so allot of my list is from things I read on wikipedia search of Micheal Jackson also Guinness world records site and everything Micheal Jackson .com I must give credit where it is due they wrote it I broke it down studied it and comprised this list I hope I am not far off and don't leave too much out but when your talking Micheal Jackson the list could be a billion things.





So without further fuss in reverse order here goes:





101:A real humanitarian to every extent of the word.

100:Opened the doors for many aspiring singers and paved the way to fame for allot of them.

99:worked with allot of different artists from multiple genres of music

98:brought out mounds of attention to things that matter in society

97:Always helped the less fortunate

96:Never as far as I know or seen or read has Micheal Jackson ever put himself up on a pedestal as an untouchable celebrity (even though he was)

95:Always brought joy through his music with feel good music or songs that made you think.

94:Pioneered the Music video as we know it!!

93:Led by example and inspired people to do good.

92:Was clearly against any kind of hate or hate crime.

91:Against racism and broke the race barrier.

90:He showed a love for all living things

89:He truly appreciated all his achivements and credited his fans always.

88:He worked straight from the heart it was a passion not a job its apparent by all his global achivements.

87:In 1984 May 14 Micheal Jackson was presented an award from President Ronald Reagan, for his support of drug and alcohol abuse charities

86:President George H Bush presented Micheal Jackson with the White House's special Artist of the Decade Award, for his influence on the music industry in the 1980's

85: 100 percent of the profits from Man in the mirror was donated to charity and 5 million was his own profit that was donated.

84:1985 - 1990 Micheal Jackson donated a half a Million Dollars to the United Negro College Fund.

83:He teamed up with Luciano Pavarotti in Italy in support of War Child

82:Jackson and friend concert donated profits to Nelson Mandela children's fund, Red cross, and UNESCO.

81: Micheal Jackson Publicly pleaded in support of Aids/ HIV Awareness by asking The Clinton administration at an Inaugural Gala for more funding for Aids/HIV charities.

80:Has The biggest selling Album of all time over 50 Million copies Worldwide.

79:Record for most number one hits in the 80's

78:Entertainer of the decade

77:Most Grammy awards in one year (8 in one year)

76:Holds the record for the largest contract 890 Million dollars

75:Greatest audience 133.4 Million people watched his performance at Superbowl XXVII

74: Highest paid commercial spokesman 12 Million for 4 commercials.

73:The Bad world tour recorded a record 124 Million dollars in revenue

72:OVER 100 MILLION RECORDS SOLD ( WOW)

71:Biggest selling video -THRILLER

70:Billboards hot 100 singles chart Most # 1 Hits by any artist (13)

69:The most #1 debuts : Bad, Dangerous,Hi Story, Consecutive #1 singles with Jackson 5 4#1 singles

68:number one on the charts

67:First to hold the number one spot on Billboards Rock album and Rock single as well as #1 R&B album and single

66 First Video - Micheal Jackson was the first black artist to have a video aired on MTV

65:Never land Ranch for sick and underprivileged kids

64:FOUNDED THE HEAL THE WORLD FOUNDATION

63: Paid in full for the liver transplant of Hungarian child

62:Airlifted over 40 tons of supplies to Sarajevo

61:Record for the most charities suported by a single artist or personality

60: Aids Project L.A.

59:American cancer society

58:Angel Food - provide nourishing meals to the severely sick

57:Big Brothers of Greater L.A.

56:Bmi foundation charity

55: Brotherhood crusade charity

54:Broth man burn centre

53:Camp Ronald McDonald

52:Child help USA

51:Children's Institute International

50:Cities and schools scholarship fund

49:Community youth sports and arts foundation

48:Juvenile diabetis association

47:Elizabeth Taylor Aids foundation

46:Dreams come true foundation

45: Dream street kids

44:Dakar foundation

43:(CBC) Congressional Black Caucus

42:Make a wish foundation

41:Minority Aids Project

40:Motown museum

39:NAACP

38:National Rainbow charity

37:Rotary club of Australia

36:Society of singers

35:Starlight Foundation

34:The Carter center's Atlanta's project

33:The sickle cell research foundation

32:Trans Africa

31:YMCA 28th street Crenshaw

30:Wish Granting

29:Watts summer festival

28:Volunteers of America

27:United Negro College fund ladders of hope

26:United Negro College Fund

25:Love Match (not sure what this is or was)

24:The Moon Walk

23:Heal The World ( the song)

22:Man in the mirror

21:Black or white

20:Billie Jean

19:Bad

18:Scream

17:Don't stop till you get enough

16:The way you make me feel

15:Smooth Criminal

14:Beat It

13:Why you wanna trip on me

12:I can't help it

11:Dirty Diana

10:Carousel

09:I want you back

08:Co- wrote we are the world raised millions and donated all to famine relief

07:Off the wall

06:Human nature

05:Rock with you

04:Red leather jacket with zippers ( oh come on we all wanted that replica plastic jacket that we drove our moms nuts about come on admit it you know its true Hell I was a 7,8 9 10 at the most and I wanted that jacket it was the coolest thing never got it though)

03: Thriller The song

02: Thriller the video

01:Becoming the legend the legacy the inspiration the man that was and will forever be remembered as the greatest artist to ever moonwalk his way to the top and open new doors for the future to come and always helped everyone the greatest to ever live MICHEAL JACKSON


In coming up with this list I was wowed by all the charities and good this man did for the poor for the sick and Yes for the children. Now there is something I want to get off my chest and it is an only in my opinion so hate me if you want but here it is.

Everyone focusing on the controversy surrounding Micheal Jackson Remember one thing HE WAS ONLY ACCUSED NEVER EVER EVER CONVICTED OF ANYTHING some say he bought the people so they would not go to court . Well maybe he did but maybe he knew he was not guilty but didn't want to play the courtroom drama and didn't want to have all he worked for his reputation his name dragged through the mud. And one more thing folks
If it were me and it wasn't and some one touched or hurt or anything my kids I would try to do one of two things 1 kill him or 2 take him to the fullest extent of the law and no amount of money and believe me when you don't have any and you live paycheck to paycheck to raise a family to have millions waved in your face is hard to turn down but may God strike me dead right now if I'm lying I would NEVER EVER TAKE A RED CENT FROM SOME FREAK WHO HURT OR ABUSED OR WHATEVER MY KIDS EVER!!! and IF YOU DID, THAT IS WHAT I TRUELY CALL DISCUSTING!! So before you go calling Micheal Jackson any names who's the freak now. Money makes it all better now doesn't it. Oh ya its like it never happened. Over money your kid has to remain scared for life. Ya I'm so Sure He did that to your kid. You Know people are twisted and as for the media you can go to hell to. Right up to his death Micheal Jackson was a Freak with Peter Pan syndrome now it's poor Micheal Poor Kids What happened Call us with your Jackson memories Like you gave a Shit all you ever did was try to make him look bad not ever did I hear anyone try to defend him. Well what ever pulls in ratings right.

Folks my rant is done Just remember Micheal Jackson for what he truly was and is and what he should always remembered as The Greatest Artist song writer/singer who ever lived and who did more for society in a decade than countries have done in their whole existence. AND IM NOT EVEN A DIE HARD FAN

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Angel In Your Eyes

I am sitting here unwinding from a day of hell at work and I am being tugged at by my little rug rat. Daddy play with me she says and daddy being too tired says not right now,maybe latter. Then an hour latter daddy I'm not hungry I want a drink. Eat first says daddy then I will get you a drink. At about an hour latter after hearing her whine and cry and scream and yell she gets her drink and about an hour later she is asleep.

It is about this time when I (daddy) let out a sigh of relief, shes finally sleeping, but about 20 minutes latter I get this horrible feeling a feeling of neglect comes over me all she wanted was to play. A simple bit of attention but I was too lazy to give it, maybe its the screaming and whining that does it or maybe the fact that this is a child who has no concept of what work is or how long you were there and that at that point in time all you want is to be lazy. All she knows is that daddy is home and I want to play and spend time with him .

Whats worse is that look that stare she gives confused as to why you don't want to do anything and no matter how bad she get or how whiny she gets one look into her beautiful eyes and she melts my heart. Attitude of a demon, eyes of an angel and the tears when she doesn't get her way reflect that image of an angel like a mirage does in the hot desert. I feel so bad after the fact. Explaining the feeling is an impossibility, but basically its like I said before its a feeling that I have neglected one of my child's most simple needs, time with her dad, something that doesn't cost a thing and really lets face it how much energy does it take to play dolls and pretend to be something or somewhere, nothing, but still I shrugged it for another day shame on me.

Now she lay here sleeping all peaceful and amazingly beautiful one of the only two things that I ever took any part in creating that turned out perfect My son and my daughter. I watch her sleep counting her every breath hoping she will forgive me for not playing with her and praying for another chance tomorrow. The longer I stare the more I am brought to look at her eyes those beautiful eyes, even though they are now closed all I see is that reflection of an angel.

Sometimes we are all tired and sometimes we all need a break my problem is the frustration of being on the road all day and dealing with some real pieces of work takes its toll on me along with 12 hour days when I get home I'm wound up pretty tight and relaxing is all that's on my mind but at the same time I'm a father and my children need me so every once in a while its OK to take a night off but if you let it become a pattern a daily ritual you will suffer in the end. Those little reflections of angels soon become older and spread their wings and soon they leave and with what? memories of a person they hardly got to know a person they called dad and didn't get any of the benefits of what the title entails. Yes tonight I took the night off but trust in me now as I write this I realize that I'm not going to make habit of this because I want the respect love and the feeling of knowing that I watched them grow,helped them grow,and was there always, tired or not and did everything to earn that respect, trust and love everyday.
All this is owed to that one long look at the reflection of an angel in your eyes.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A letter to DAD

As I write you this letter Dad I know it's too little too late.
Though you are still here a disease known as Alzheimer's has taken all that was great.

Given the situation this letter I must write, to tell you that I love you and the time with you is the best.
There were so many things I should not have said and the things I should have I must now lay to rest.

Words can't express the respect and gratitude I feel for all you have done.
Now watching you suffer though you do not know, is killing me slowly like a collapsed lung.

That long, lost, blank look that is now present in your eyes, was once filled with ambition, joy and love that could clear up any dark skies.

A Jack of all trades and a master of one.
A damn good barber was the trade you found to be fun.

Dad I need your advise just one more bit of guidance is that too much to ask?
I guess I should have listened more when you gave it instead of acting as though listening to you was such a big task.

Oh Dad the great memories I have of cottaging and fishing with you when I was a Young boy.
I know you cant remember them but for all it's worth those times with you were when I truly felt joy.

PLEASE Dad snap out of it I cant stand to watch you deteriorate,but the truth is it only gets worse for us the spectators and that is what I hate.

I write you this letter Dad too little too late.
Dad please forgive me for all I did and said wrong and when it comes to a good man dad YOU ARE GREAT.
P.S.
TO MY DAD DONATO BIANCO YOU MAY HAVE LOST YOUR MIND BUT YOU WILL NEVER LOSE YOUR DIGNITY.I LOVE YOU DAD

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Time and the different ways to manage it

Time as we know it can be a valuable thing. Time can also be your worst enemy.
Its a great and beautiful thing that you just cant get enough of, like when you want time to freeze and you wish you could be stuck there forever. Those moments can be when your enjoying the company of a loved one, playing with the kids, gardening and when your just having too much fun and don't want that time to end.

On the other hand Time can be your worst nightmare. Its a horrible thing that thing we call time. Like when your at work and you have that deadline or when you need that oil change and you can't ever seem to get to the garage in time to get it done, and for that bill that's been sitting on your kitchen table for 6 weeks that you keep forgetting to pay and you have till whenever to pay it and it seems too much too fast. Come on we've all been guilty of that one from time to time. Its horrible what time can do to you the stress it puts on you and the ways we cope with time and its restraints.

One way of dealing with time is to be worried about it. OK your at work and you get a job oh I don't know any job lets just say that today you are a janitor and you have to unlock 6 doors jammed with gum,unclog 14 toilets and sweep the teachers lounge and parking lot before 12 its 8 . Oh my God what am I going to do? I have to go find my tools , oh no cant find the ice pick, oh no I'm not going to do this OK found it got 1 door open 2,34,5, 6 doors open. Oh oh its 10:30 and the walls start to close in on you and off to the toilets you ,go, got those done oh no its 11:15 and the tighter the room feels buy the time noon hits it gets all done and you worried yourself into a basic frenzy for nothing .

Then there is time management people you know the one, they are always tyring to fit you in to there schedule to go out for a beer or drink. These people have their day planned out to a virtual science they get everything accomplished because they fit everything into a scheduled time slot. OK same situation as above would look like this : 8am to 815 find tools for locks and plungers for toilets, 815 to845 pick gum out of locks, 845 -930 0r 10 unclog toilets, 10 o'clock change tools for brooms, 10 15 to 10 30 sweep teachers room, 1030 to 10 45 break, 1100 to 12 sweep parking lot. There is never any stress, they follow plan to a tee. This type of person is very organized and knows what has to be done and when it has to be done and is usually highly successful type of person.

Then there is me Mr through caution to the wind it ll get done when it gets done type of person.We usually don't stress over much, we usually get it done in an unconventional manner and don't care how it gets done it just somehow does. This does not mean that the quality suffers it just means that time isn't keeping me in a box I'm doing it my way and getting it done.People like myself usually have the most fun and tend to live longer than stressed out people that think time is everything.

Listen to me Time is nothing, its what you do with your time and how you spend your time that means everything . You can be the most organized,, successful stressed out freak in the world,Wow so you got some money, holy crap good for you but how much time did you spend with your kids last night?did you fit your friend in for that drink ? is that stress catching up to you yet? 42 years old and on the verge of a nervous breakdown followed by a stroke and how about those hobbies you had how are they doing? oh ya not enough time for them anymore. So go ahead laugh at me, no I probably wont be remembered as a wealthy organized guy who stressed over everything, but i will be remembered as someone who used his time to make people laugh and cry, a man who loved his kids and showed it always and a man who from the moment he married his wife realized what his purpose in life was and why he did it his way. Spend your time wisely and always make time for the people who were there for you before you got to be who you are now and that goes for rich or just getting by people and family ALWAYS comes first . Follow those three things my friends and i tell you what TIME WILL ALWAYS BE ON YOUR SIDE.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

What Is Love

Is love that child looking up to a parent clinging on every bit of encouragement you can give, or is it the joy and happiness that child brings into that parents life every day. Is love just a word you use to make you feel at ease with someone or a feeling of undying emotion that lets you know that you cant go on with the other.

Love as we know it can also be a painful thing cant it? I'm not just talking about cheaters and having your loved ones run away with your heart. I'm talking about the empty feeling Love can give you, that all alone feeling, the feeling that makes you wish you were dead. The kind I felt when my daughter was born the next day her lung collapsed and for 6 days was in an nicu unit incubator Hopeless, empty, blame,hate wonderful feelings to feel with love. Now my son he has a disease called neurofibromatosis (cafe o lait) it can affect almost anything it wants but mainly ears eyes and spine along with fibroid in or on the skin, Love him with all my heart but in a couple of days he goes in for his third brain surgery in 8 months to cure his water swelling his brain. Again i reiterate LOVE is feeling pain, feeling hopeless cant help him put his life in someone else's hands and you call that a fathers love. Well yes because love is taking the good with the bad saying i love you is easy being there and showing it in good times and bad times. Showing love isn't buying expensive things its giving the courage the respect, knowledge and holding someones hand in those moments of despair and in moments of jubilation as well.

Love what is love is it a good feeling or a bad one or a combination of both.
Is love meant to bring us together or destroy us because situations like mine its not uncommon to have hate and resentment for your partner and blame them or yourself for the situation which can destroy a relationship. Is love what you feel for someone or something or is love a emotion you express.

When you think of love its supposed to be grand and not to be made to feel bad till the end. In reality love is a perfect combination of good and bad that you get through with the relationship you have built. It is kind of like a house if you will, you can have all the best furniture the best car in the drive way best decor and even have it paid off but if the foundation is cracked and the roof has a small leak the first big storm that hits it is going to bring it down to the ground some will walk away from it angry and unaware of why it happened and others will rebuild so it can never ever happen again and that to me spells out love .

The Good Old Days

How many of us sit and think back to when times were so much more simple?,a time when we were truly free, happy , and living life. A time when that ice cream on the weekend was a dollar and no matter what you were going to get one, going out and playing or just hanging out was a real joy. The days when kids could run around without a care in the world, and just be kids. Playing on streets in playgrounds and in parks.
Now its 5 bucks for that ice cream and that's outrageous,going out is usually pain staking work and is usually all work no play. Sitting down for drinks is mostly a quick drink, and not that same all day experience of going to the store and buying it walking to the spot and chill there for the day while enjoying the drink and the company. As for Kids running around without a care in the world, well that's insane now, if it's not for the sick and twisted freaks out there its them damn video games, exercise pretty much consists of holding a remote control pad or wiggling fingers on a key board and not for a creative purpose at all.
Oh god how I miss those days hanging out with friends and cousins till lord knows when. Doing what we wanted when we wanted with no worries about anything ( without getting into serious trouble).I'm not exactly sure why those times fade away but they sure do fade, those great times we had growing up. Maybe that's it, we grow up and take on responsibilities of our own that we didn't worry about before. We start to work harder at what we want going forward and lose track of what we had before. We start to distance ourselves from everything that was pure and true and open our arms to the unknown because lets face it who really knows whats ahead, is it success or failure? was it worth it or not ? the whole time getting further from the places, things,and people that were everything for you until all that's left is a memory and we call those moments THE GOOD OLD DAYS
The good old days, I would give anything to feel like I did then, to feel free to not have time lines, a time when children were pretty safe and a time when the big guys watched out for the little guys. The days when we can say we were true to ourselves and others. Some say that was then this is now and just move on but one thing is for sure I will never forget the way I felt the friendships I had and those great and I mean great times we had and no matter how terrible i feel now or whats bothering me I simply go somewhere quiet sit back and remember THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Friday, April 10, 2009

Things that puzzle me online

Today I feel the need to blow off some steam because I am puzzled as to were is a normal human to go to learn about earning some honest cash online.

I have spent hours, days, months pounding the keys for some honest info and every time you type in something someone is there to sell you some info by giving you just a sniff, small look at things then bam slap a Price tag on that info just as you get interested. To tell you the truth it really does look as though they all just copy their earning stats and sales pitch and formulas.

I wish that someone would just give you some real good info free info on how to make money instead of getting people to pay for some service or product that we know nothing about , I literally mean any time you search for info on making money hundreds of sites selling formulas, books and ready made kits.

Now this is were the confusion sets in ready here it is : If all these sites are making money with these systems and they say that it has duplicability and NO IT DOES NOT BECOME SATURATED then why do they have to sell this stuff to you and me and in this time of global instability cant we just help each other out why in Gods name do you have to take a persons last dollar that they know darn well that you will spend it because your broke and they are showing you that look at my account BUY THIS AND YOU WILL HAVE IT TOO. Like i was saying if you are so profitable then why sell it give free seminars start a forum do something other than charge for it . But the truth is they are just making a living like you and me and some are as rich as they say and some are not, but please use you head when looking for solutions to cash problems don't get SUCKED in by the first promise of rich lifestyle do your homework and go to blogs that offer some help or have had some experience with a product or service also there is the rip off report that can be useful and also Yahoo answers .

PLEASE if you are serious about online money and want to make some DO YOUR HOMEWORK ASK QUESTIONS its just like the real world you wouldn't open up a diner if you never cooked before would you? but for some reason the confusion of the Internet people forget that it pretty much like anything else you got to work hard to get the kind of success they promise. Even though its like a fantasy this thing with keys and it can take you to places you can only dream about don't ever forget that the basic values of everyday life need to be practiced online or you will lose allot of time energy and yes MONEY.